Back from Vietnam: WARNING (Explicit Images)

Warning: graphic war images. I'm back home from Vietnam after one of the most healing trips of my life. As I had briefly mentioned in Day 1 of my trip to Vietnam; throughout this trip I was mostly a spectator. Observing and documenting the reaction the Vietnam veterans in our group were having to being back to a country some men had not been back to since the war in the 1960's and 1970's. 

On one hand, this task did not prove difficult since the Vietnam veterans were open and willing to share their personal thoughts, feelings, and emotions. On the other hand, it was personally difficult for me to listen to some stories because they hit close to my own wounds. For instance, one evening after I was getting done interviewing a veteran he triggered emotions deep inside of me and I was almost moved to tears. It felt good sitting with a brother, a Marine at that, and find a comfort that only another veteran can provide. 

The first part of this blog is to give the reader, in particular civilians, an idea conveyed by pictures of what some of these men went throught during the war. The last part of my blog will focus on how they were able to overcome and learn to cope after the Vietnam war. It is important for me that the reader understands that by using the following images I am in no way justifying, glorifying or any other word that may come to mind other than attempting to paint a picture of the trauma endured by these men. 

Warning: graphic war images. 

The second part of my blog is about my experience in witnessing recovery in the group of men. Remember, this trip was about recovery. Also, this is only my personal opinion about what I observed and in no way reflects any sort of professional diagnosis. 

As stated in several of my other blog posts, I noticed a common bond quickly develop among the Vietnam veterans. As some veterans stated, "it's as if we are back with our units/platoon." Even for me, I felt I was back with my platoon of Marines and even assumed my role as a Corpman (medic) within the group. I felt every member in our group retrograded in a small way to who they had once been when they had been deployed to Vietnam. This was evident by the comraderrie developed in just a few days followed by laughter, jokes, and most importantly by the level of trust felt within the group. Another example of momentary retrogration was the day we visited one of the battlefields. One of the men in our group had been former special forces. Even now in his 80's he would not walk the path in the jungle and made his own path through the jungle. 

Below are pictures of some of the veterans in our group throughout the trip. 

The most important part of this trip was how these men had overcome the atrocities of war. Other than the brotherhood of being Vietnam veterans I quickly discovered they shared a deeper belief. They all shared the same belief in a higher power or entity they called Jesus Christ. 

In my observations, I noticed that without believing in something greater than themselves many of the men in the group would have been unable to make this trip and for some even to be alive. I learned that all of them had a different degree of faith but all of them seemed to believe that Jesus Christ could restore and individually heal them from their past, particularly from the war in Vietnam. As a matter of fact, I noticed some believed they had already been forgiven and  healed because of their faith. This belief was strong within the group and evidenced from the way the men carried themselves to how they spoke. For instance, the veterans made it a point to worship and pray to their higher power as a group everyday, even on the bus and hotel. As a result, I felt this lightened the load in the group. Spirits were lifted. Another example: I did not hear one single veteran use profanity at any time during the trip. I mean, these men believed to the core. On one occasion I even saw a veteran pray for a poor pregnant Vietnamese woman. I felt the group as a whole led by example on their beliefs and in that was the key to overcoming their own trauma from war. 

So, what does this all mean? That is for each reader to decide. But whatever these men have discovered is working for them and I witnessed every second of it. To me, the meaning I took from the men in this group is the following: trauma from war (or any other trauma) is a process. Sometimes the healing is slow and sometimes it's fast. However, it will always be part of your life but trauma does not have to be your life. The men in this group surrendered from their trauma by turning their will to a higher power, in this case Jesus Christ. Only when they ceased fighting did healing begin. Lastly, I noticed that in order for the Vietnam veterans to maintain their level of recovery they were willing to work and help others. In order to keep what they have they had to be willing to give it away. 

This allowed them to move from the darkness.......

Toward the Light as they understood it. 

I'm eternally gracious to the group of Vietnam veterans who allowed me to be part of this amazing trip of hope and recovery. A special thanks to Rupert Harrel for giving me his units coin with the names of all the men the lost in the war. To every member of the group for making me feel I was part of the group even thought my beliefs were different. Not once did I feel disrespected but felt embraced by the presence of the group. 

Welcome Home Vietnam Veterans! 

Day 9: Last Day in Nam

Today was a "free" day to do as we wanted around the city of Hanoi. We didn't get to do much as we had already visited Hanoi's main tourists sights. A group of us did wander off along the streets and I managed to snap a few shots of everyday Vietnam. Hope you enjoy. 

The level of activity that takes place in Vietnam is overwhelming. It reminded me of my visit to India back in 2013. There is so much going on around me I have to focus on walking in one direction to avoid getting dizzy and at the same time avoid being crushed by a speeding moped. It's as if everything becomes alive in the city of Hanoi. The ingenious ways of Vietnamese people to transport goods from point A to point B (as seen above) is probably the one thing that stuck out for me the most. Part of their creativity I think comes from sustaining their livelihoods and adapting to and making use of the things around them. For example, one single long stick with two pieces of rope can be used to transport over 100lbs of weight as seen below. 

Another example would be a bicycle. Bicycles also become important vessels of goods/supplies. Merchants sell, deliver, or pick up items of all shapes and sizes on their bikes as seen above. 

For now, getting on packing the rest of my gear for the long journey back home. Only a 45 hour flight. Could be worse? Wait, could it???? 

Day 7 and 8: "Hanoi Hilton"

First, I wanted to say that I've been extremely sick and have been unable to blog. For the last day and a half I've been laid out in my room shivering and sweating a fever that just wouldn't break. Then the vomiting and diarrhea took over and just to add a cherry on top a nasty cough set in. So, I've been pretty much useless. However, I did not miss much so here is the latest and the greatest. 

On day 7 we visited the Hoa Lo Prison. This prison was used by the French colonists in Vietnam for political prisoners and later used by North Vietnam for POW's (Prisinors of War) during the Vietnam war in the 1960's and 1970's. The name "Hanoi Hilton" was sarcastically given to the prison by American POWs. 

During the Vietnam war, Hanoi Hilton was largely used to keep American fighter pilots as prisoners. Although there has been plenty of documentation from former POWs, including former US Senator John McCain who was held prisoner in Hanoi Hilton, about the tortures which took place in the prison during the Vietnam war; the Vietnamese government denies any such events. This was evident by the videos playing throughout the museum which portrayed American POWs happily playing basketball, card games, opening care packages and laughing amongst each other. It is interesting to note that in the museum the only mention of any prisoner mistreatment was from the French toward the Vietnamese. The clear denial of Vietnamese mistreatment toward the Americans leaves one pondering on the concept of national propaganda.  Below you will see photos of veterans touring the museum and the uniform political prisoners would wear. The last picture is where prisoners defecated and urinated. Two small square holes on the ground. 

The next visit was to a historical site called Van Mieu in Vietnamese or Temple of Literature. It was both a Confucion temple and the first university of Vietnam. 

This ancient Confucian sanctuary is currently considered one of Hanoi's finest historical and cultural sites. Parts of the temple date back to the Ly Dynasty (1010-1225) and Tran Dynasty (1224-1400). In 1076, Vietnam's first university was established within this temple to educate Vietnam's mandarin class. The university functioned for more than 700 years, during which 2,313 doctors graduated. Below you will see pictures of children making an offering to Buddha, pictures of artifacts inside the temple, decorative incense burners, different Buddha statues, and offerings presented to Buddha. 

It was an enjoyable time to share this Confucian temple experience was the group of Vietnam veterans. Although the culture, traditions, and values displayed in the temple did not conform to the majority of our group's beliefs, it was admirable that they could respect the Vietnamese people's system of beliefs and step outside of their comfort zone. I could appreciate the honesty of one veteran who approached me and said, "look at these satanic rituals!" No sooner had he said that when suddenly he was absorbed into the arms of children who tenderly welcomed him by hugging and climbing all over him so that they could get there pictures taken with him. These were the same children participants of the "satanic" ritual. It's amazing the opportunities we miss out on when we marginalize a situation or even yet a religion or country simply because we do not understand them.